


To Infinite Sadness And Back Again

by afteriwake



Series: In So Few Words [42]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Comforting Presence, F/M, Gen, Laid To Rest - Freeform, One-Sided Attraction, POV Kuchiki Rukia, Past Character Death, Peace, Pre-Series Events, character history, vengeance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was only a presence, but in the end it saved her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Infinite Sadness And Back Again

It was at night when she swore she could feel his presence, the man that she had adored, had worshiped, had even loved. She knew it was absurd; after all, when they died their bodies dissolved and their spirits went to the living world. He couldn’t be haunting her, looming large over her sleepless nights. But she felt him, just the same. It was on cold nights, with her blankets pulled up tight under her chin and the small breaths she’d let escape misting in front of her, that she felt it the most. It was never malicious, never mean. It was simply there, a heavy weight in the air, a seeming warmth to the cold air all around her, a touch of light in the otherwise dark room, as it were.

She would feel it when she was training, when she was trying to return to life as she knew it, to not let the horrors of that night overwhelm her. She had run her sword through him to save him, killing him, and it had been the only way she could. She murdered him, not in cold blood, but to save him from a fate worse than death, a fate his wife had faced.

But his presence didn’t comfort, at least not then. No, then it hung around her neck like dead weight, a sign that she had failed in saving him, that she had condemned him to whatever fate befell him on the other side. It wasn’t until later, much later, after the events in which she lost her powers and was imprisoned and Ichigo saved her from death, that she began to regard that presence as something that would comfort her. His presence felt welcome, and was more like an invited guest than anything else.

When she confronted the Arrancar who had taken his shape, taken his sword and his abilities, she drew on every ounce of strength that presence held, every shred of hope, every bit of warmth, as she lay bleeding on the ground. It would be easy to sink into the darkness, but then she would lose this presence, this warm weight that settled on her at her lowest times and guided her through. And so, she held on with her tightest grip. She knew that was what he would want, because he was never the type of man to give up on the things he felt were important. And she knew, to him, life was one of the most important things in the world, and should never be given up without a fight. He had fought, and at the very least, she could too.


End file.
